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I put my robe on and went back to watching Downton Abbey. Nor will I know who the other 14 guys were, who came to my apartment that weekend. An anonymous cum dump. Once I finally dispensed with condoms, topping came quite naturally. It certainly took some trial and error to figure out how to become a great top, but I learned pretty quickly. I have to admit, I was quite flattered when someone left the following comment on my Xtube page: All tops, this is how you fuck.

But I still felt like I was missing out on something.


I was certainly missing out on having sex with all the guys who were tops — and I hate missing out on sex with a hot guy. It usually felt uncomfortable, required so much preparation, and required giving up a certain amount of control.

I would try it every few months — first with a friend, then with a crush, and a couple of times with fuck buds that I usually topped. But I was always so goddamn nervous about bottoming. It seemed like a lot of effort for little reward.

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I had topped several anonymous cum dumps — guys who sit on their bed on all fours and leave the door unlocked so you can let yourself in, drop your load and leave. These guys were usually, but not always, high on some sort of drug. Yet I envied them: I was also very curious about what they got out of it, especially since they never even looked at or talked to the guy fucking them. I prepared myself well. I douched thoroughly — I mean, really thoroughly, past the water coming out clean. I drank Coca-Cola to make sure I was alert and awake, but no coffee that could act as a diuretic.

I hid any valuables. I prelubed my hole a bit with some boy butter. I stripped the duvet off my bed and put a towel down. I put some wet wipes next to the bed for guys to clean their cocks off with afterwards. I arranged a safety protocol with a friend: I booked an appointment with the Health Initiative for Men for a week later so I could get tested for gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis.

As I awaited my first load, I was both excited and nervous — could I pull this off? He tried for about 10 minutes before giving up. Another guy who came over was superb. He made me get all the way onto my bed instead of just kneeling at the edge. He pushed my head down and began fucking me. He fucked me for about five minutes before coming, and then he just lay there on top of me, still hard inside of me, holding me, cuddling me.

He started fucking me again and after five minutes he came a second time. He began fucking me much like every other guy had. But then I started to panic. I suddenly felt very full in my intestines and had the urge to take a shit. I was so full of cum that it began pouring out. He said it was frothing up all over him and at that moment, he came. I felt immensely proud of myself and incredibly sexy. I finally understood what all those anon cum dumps got out of it. But despite years of going to the gym off and on, my body never toned up.

But here I was having my ass worshipped. I was just a sexual object to them.

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None of this relied on my personality or my intelligence; it was just my body they wanted. That made me feel sexy. He left me a surprise. Hope you enjoy. Lil Nig Caught Gettin Fucked. It's been a while.

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