I have been dating an FtM for about five months but just found out that he is an FtM yesterday.
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I still am in love with him, but I feel like if I keep dating him then I'm a lesbian. Is this true?
That is a really good question. The answer is, probably not. Not really.
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Sex refers to a person's biological maleness or femaleness. Females typically have XX chromosomes and males typically have XY chromosomes. Chromosomes are long pieces of DNA that carry the genetic material that people inherit from their parents. Sex is determined immediately when a woman's egg is fertilized by a man's sperm. If an X sperm fertilizes an X egg, the fetus will be female.
If a Y sperm fertilizes the X egg, the fetus will be male. Gender, on the other hand, refers to the cultural, and psychological traits typically associated with one sex or the other.
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Babies are usually assumed to have a male gender at birth if they have a penis, and a female gender if they have a vulva. Gender identity is how someone feels about their gender assignment. Sexual orientation, being lesbian, gay, bisexual or straight refers to who you are attracted to.
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So if you have an FTM partner, you could definitely identify as straight , even if he has biologically female anatomy, since his gender identity is male. Those terms are a little different that bisexual, which refers to people who are attracted to both men and women.
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Though Barboza personally informs his romantic partners about his own body before getting physical, he says he can still feel a bit nervous and insecure, even around the most comforting partners. So as a good piece of trans dating advice, cis sexual partners should understand that some trans guys are still coming to terms with their bodies.
The less you make a big deal out of it, and the more you affirm that you like them for who they are, the better the connection will be.
Also, as a pro-tip: In fact, Ty Turner says many trans men reveal their identity as if it were a guilty, scary, secret confession rather than just another personal detail. As his piece of trans dating advice, Turner suggests testing the waters by incorporating trans subjects into conversation.
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